Who You Spend Time With Is Who You Become

May 2020

Your habits determine your life.

But what determines your habits?

As much as you’d like to say that they come from within, from principles and values, you know that’s only part of the story.

The other part is that habits come from other people. Their standards, their values, their thinking, and their lifestyle rub off on you. It’s hard to see because it happens gradually.

But it’s undeniable. You’ve probably noticed picking up people’s laughs and mannerisms and speech patterns before from spending time with them.

So what’s to say that you don’t pick up their habits as well? What they eat, how they live, how they think.

Sure, some habits come from within. But they’re added on to and shaped by the other people you are around, whether you like it or not.

And if your habits determine your life and define who you are, and those habits are shaped by the people around you, then it’s especially important to pick who those people are.

Not just based on whether you can tolerate them. But on whether you can tolerate becoming them. Even partially.

Are the people you’re surrounded by happy? Successful? Wise? Hard working?

Do they produce great work? Make lots of money? Are their goals high? Have they even set goals or have they given up on living an extraordinary life?

Do you admire them? Enough to partially become them?

Or are you just settling? Justifying because it’s convenient, socially or financially?

If you’re not ready to become them, it’s time to change the people before they change you.

But why is it so socially inconvenient to do just that? Because most people aren’t willing to sacrifice to live extraordinary lives. They aim for happiness, not impact. And that’s okay.

But if you want to be an anomaly, you’ve got to act like one first.

Who are the best people to surround yourself with, then? The people you want to become.

These people are more accessible than ever thanks to the internet. You can spend time with them by listening carefully to their thoughts on interviews on YouTube, podcasts, blog posts, and books they’ve written. Study who they are, what they do, and how they think.

Pretty soon, you’ll become a collection of the traits you most admire in others.

When you choose who surrounds you, you choose who you become.

So choose wisely. Who do you want to become?